Epiphany {new age/spirituality}

Monogamy Vs Polyamory

July 27, 2006

Last night, I watched the Ch4 documentary “I Love You, And You, And You” which was very intriguing indeed. The focus of the programme was on ‘polyamory,’ which is the term used to describe relationships featuring multiple partners ie: a woman and 2 men or a man and 3 women or a man with a woman who has a man who has a woman. Hang one, wasn’t there a blur song about this?

Although, I completely disagree with polygamy, which involves one man, taking several wives if so inclined (often involving sisters and young girls who are forced into arranged marriages), Polyamory seems slightly different. Depending on the agreements / rules within individual relationships, both the men and women involved are allowed to take additional partners. In that regard, the relationship appears more equal and loving for all involved, it’s not just about the man being satisfied by however many women he chooses to marry.

Plus, unlike married couples committing adultery, obviously a relationship consumed with lies and deceit, polyamory is about openess, honesty and trust. Although, I am not against the arrangement if those involved feel comfortable with it but for myself, I am rather old-fashioned, I believe in one boy, one girl, or two girls or two boys, a monogamous relationship. According to the dictionary, polyamory is: ‘the philosophy or state of being in love or romantically involved with more than one person at the same time.’ I know in the past, I’ve had strong feelings for 2 different people at the same time but whether it could be a sustainable relationship without jealousy or heartbreak, that’s another question. I don’t think I could share my romantic partner with someone else, could you?

Only registered users can comment.

  1. “Nope, me neither. Ive had friends who have cheated on their partners but at the same time profess their undying love for them which to me is a contradiction as it is just a whole set of lies.

    Each to their own I guess as long as it doesn’t involve me in some way….”

    Shamus Doherty
    http://www.bandmemberonline.com

  2. “They never broadcast the obvious scene at the restaurant where the prospective girlfriend said ‘and what exactly are you doing here with me’. I thought that taking your new girlfriend home to meet your live in lover and her partner was a little bizarre.

    The cherry on the top was the guy with a wife and two girlfriends! These girlfriends were supposed to go downstairs while he and his wife had some quality time together – but afterwards they all jumped into bed as happy as Larry checking through their Filofaxes for their turn.

    Bizarre, cheap, sensationalist TV and only a little less watchable than the American who loved (in every sense) his horse.”

    Eric Hearn
    http://www.atlas-textile.co.uk

  3. Oh dear, must have missed that programme! Yeah, the prospective girlfriend didn’t look particularly impressed, did she? And then as if in an act of revenge or desperation, brought her ex-husband to their dinner party. But then again, maybe the more the merrier?

  4. “Shame there’s not more talk about Polyandry. In these modern times, there’s a lot to be said for having two male breadwinners in one household. In societies where it’s more common, that’s exactly the justification. Life is so hard that it takes 3 adults to raise a family and provide for the children.

    So rather than focus on the male fantasy (Girls, would you share your man with another woman) how about focussing on the reverse (Guys, would you share your woman with another man).

    There’s an obvious downside for the woman. There’d automatically be a live-in mate that you could watch the football with or go down the pub with while the woman would have another set of socks to find, mouth to feed and sexual appetite to manage.

    Ah, Stereotypes. Don’t you just love ’em?”

    Julian Bond
    http://www.ecademy.com

  5. “Stereotypes….

    ..cant say i’m especially fond of them, but to a lesser or greater degree we all live our lives by them.

    I’m not sure i could share my (theoretical, as i’m single) partner with another person. As i’m bisexual i noticed that alot of the partnerships are chain-like in structure, say where two men are connected by the same woman, but presumably not involved with each other. Or again you have a chain of a man with a woman who is with this man and with that woman yet the ends of the chain dont link up. It seems that this extreme of a social network is built on monogamous sexual relationships i.e. it seems that a woman is in love with two men but only ever sleeps with one at a time.

    Group sex is a phenomena which is seemingly quite prolific in our society, but it is always seen in a light of not very serious ‘fun’ or ‘just having a laugh’ so is it indeed possible for group sex between three loving partners to be as romatically profound as monogamous intimacy can be, or will someone always be getting left out?

    I didn’t see the documentary so correct me if i’m wrong about anything but it is a subject which has puzzled me in the past. Is polyamory really just built on a few interlocking monogamous relationships which are honest and open about the overlap?”

    Martin Coote
    View my artwork @ DarwinDocument’s Deviant Art
    http://darwindocu.deviantart.com

  6. Good points Martin and Julian,

    I’m sure it’s always useful to have an extended network of support where children are concerned, grandparents…..extra lovers etc.

    The programme did seem to focus mainly on a ‘few interlocking monogamous relationships’ but with the one featuring 1 man and 3 women, it implied that one of the women was involved with both the husband and the wife, but it wasn’t clear. Then towards the end, it showed various groups of hippies altogether on a large bed but didn’t explain who was sleeping with who, so the more complex relationships were avoided. Both the ones featured involved sex with one individual at a time, there were no group activities of an intimate nature, well apart from sleeping.

  7. Dear Fellow Lightworkers,

    Greetings and Salutations! I have been following with interest the spirited discussions in this blogg-forum and feel strongly that we are living in very “special� times!
    As a contactee and a channel I would like to share information from the Masters from time to time with you all. My name is Michael Ellegion, and my website is ChannelfortheMasters.com.
    I have been guided by the Spiritual Hierarchy at this time to connect with other fellow Lightworkers who also feel attuned to the higher Masters and Beings of Light, as clear guidence is especially at this time on earth, very important to us all.
    Having been trained in the Edgar Cayce form of channeling as a small child, I have been channeling the Masters for over 25 years. I also have had wonderful experiences, having been taken aboard physically, onto the higher dimensional Merkabah Lightships of the Ashtar Command, I can truly say that we are living in the “End Times� of the old way and that there are many other fellow Volunteer souls here in Earth embodiment on earthly missions.
    At my website, there is a very fascinating list of “NASA Star People characteristics� which I feel many of those of you who come to this blogg’s forum will definitely relate to many of the characteristics or traits documented there. I was first told about this list prior to actually seeing it, while physically aboard the Merkabah, and I was told that I was soon going to come upon a list of characteristics, and that when fellow Volunteers like myself, would see this list, they too would relate to at least several to a third of the entire list.
    According to these very advanced, human appearing Elohim – extraterrestrials, “Depending upon how much of the original level of higher energy and consciousness that a soul is able to bring with them when their soul comes into earth embodiment, is usually how many of these characteristics a fellow Volunteer will tend to have.�
    The Channelings I have done for over 25 years, are specifically designed to assist fellow Lightworkers in gaining greater insight into their individual life-missions. Becoming aware of future opportunities that the Spiritual Hierarchy wants you to be aware of is important, allowing you to more consciously take advantage of these opportunities. As a result, each one of us will help to uplift the planet––as it prepares for the upcoming planetary Ascension.
    One of the special features about these transformational sessions with the Spiritual Hierarchy, is that while the Masters are channeling thru me, they place upon the tape powerful Cosmic subliminals designed to accelerate the reactivation of the original 12 strand DNA/RNA into the future 24 strands, along with the opening and activation of the synaptic-neropathways of the brain. This causes major transformations in one’s conscious awareness and the lifting of the Veils or Cosmic Amnesia. This in turn, helps one to remember their original galactic origins.
    Checkout ChannelfortheMasters.com and to those of you who feel an attunement to this information and would like to further connect with me, I look forward to hearing from you, e-mail me at: vortexnetwork@hotmail.com.

    Many Blessings to You on Your Earthly Mission!

    In Light and Love,

    Michael Ellegion

  8. People who are interested in finding out more may wish to come to Polyday on 14th October 2006 in London. See the website for more details.
    “A one-day event for everyone who knows that happy and honest relationships don’t have to be monogamous, Polyday combines a day of discussions and an evening of dancing to give you a chance to meet like-minded people, to build our community and to celebrate its diversity”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *