Epiphany {new age/spirituality}

How do you adapt your lifestyle to the real world?

May 7, 2006

Am feeling disheartened today, things haven't been going so well lately. Have been attempting to maintain an alternative lifestyle away from the stresses of the 9-5. I used to travel to work early in the morning via public transport and would get so anxious/flustered, I'd break out in an itchy lumpy rash. I'd sit under the bright, clinical lighting in the office, coiled tight like a spring, tense and rigid. I'd attempt to force creativity between the hours of 9-5, whilst the boss would peer critically over my shoulder. I felt depressed but the money was necessary. I particularly remember one morning, standing on the train station platform in tears, feeling embarrassed, surrounded by strangers. I wanted to run home, away from prying public eyes and hide in my room, relax, recouperate. Everything got too stressful and so I had no choice but to take a break. I decided to cut down on my spending and attempt to earn a living independently, believing that time, health and freedom are far more important than money and affluence.
Windows On The World by Anon
It upsets me that people have to work hard in a job they hate, just to survive. They go to work during the day, and then they go out at night and get drunk to ease their sorrows, wasting the money they have worked so hard to earn on alcohol, cigarettes and taxis. Anything to escape the boredom, the pain of existence, to experience that false and fleeting feeling of spiritual enlightenment or euphoria. Running cars/motorbikes which cost an extortionate amount just to enable them to get to work and then working to be able to run their vehicles. I am trying hard to escape that lifestyle. I earn dribs and drabs of income, I choose my own hours, when I am feeling productive and inspired, I create. When certain cynical/negative individuals or the world itself is getting me down, I cut myself off, take a break, but have not yet managed to fully achieve my dream of self-sufficiency.

I realise it's too difficult for me to remain in the public eye everyday, I use the internet to control how much the outside world intrudes into my life and effects me. Maybe you can go through your days, oblivious to what other people say and do but I absorb everything. In my father's words, I'm "too damn sensitive!" I have to protect myself but on the other hand too much time by yourself is dangerous for your state of mind. Finding a balance between human connectivity and time alone is important. I have been criticised for wasting time, *writing about spiritual ideas as it is not earning me any income (stop being a dreamer, be realistic, get a proper job) but it is important for my well-being. Expect the skeptics and conditioned in society to judge and ridicule you for straying from the norm. I guess * it gives me the "God" feeling (not that I think I am God but feel closer to him/her, the universal energy, source etc), I feel more alive, more content in the knowledge that there is a deeper meaning to life, something operating under the surface. I get a similar emotion from being creative or reading a spiritual/new age book, listening to Sigur Ros or watching an inspiring film like Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind, Vanilla Sky or What Dreams May Come.

After you die, you cannot take anything physical/material with you, all you have is your ethics, your beliefs, your experiences. However, I need to survive and it is difficult adapting spiritual ideas and alternative lifestyles to the real world. If anyone has successfully managed this, please tell me how? I keep trying but sometimes feel I am getting nowhere. Am I too negative? I have applied for several creative projects recently but have heard nothing yet. I am not an unethical business person, I cannot lie, cheat and force potential customers/clients to buy something they do not need or want. I often lack confidence. Should I return to the 9-5, should I return to menial labour? I worry about money, as unfortunately you need it to survive. Am I alone?

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  1. Apologies, for that quite depressing personal thread. I expect because my moods change regularly, I am sending out mixed messages to the universe ie: I am a contradiction, an extrovert at times but also a semi-hermit. But without sadness, I would not contemplate anything deep and meaningful. Hey-ho another day….

  2. It did not strike me as depressing at all! I salute your intentions and determination and endorse everything you’ve said there. It is extremely important that you don’t ever give up following this impulse.

  3. Yay, a creative project came in today from a previous client. Just need a few more in future! Am also potentially interested in doing some part-time remote working on either artworking ie: sourcing products on the net, resizing and saving images for web or data inputting of some description, ie: if anyone is needing someone to fill in details on hundreds of web pages etc. Thanks – info at optical paradox dot co dot uk >> Right back to spiritual enlightenment. Money, schmoney….

  4. please read conversations with God 1, 2 & 3. These books will NOT be what you expect[preaching}and will help you alot. They are very controversatal,but you will see they ring true inside your soul; They consist of OBSERVATIONS, and explain EVERYTHING trust me, that you want to know about EVERYTHING. how people need to love what they do to make money…please give them a chance, these books changed my life and outlook .

  5. There was this guy see.
    He wasn’t very bright and he reached his adult life without ever having learned “the facts”.
    Somehow, it gets to be his wedding day.
    While he is walking down the isle, his father tugs his sleeve and says,

    “Son, when you get to the hotel room…Call me”

    Hours later he gets to the hotel room with his beautiful blushing bride and he calls his father,

    “Dad, we are the hotel, what do I do?”

    “O.K. Son, listen up, take off your clothes and get in the bed, then she should take off her clothes and get in the bed, if not help her. Then either way, ah, call me”

    A few moments later…

    “Dad we took off our clothes and we are in the bed, what do I do?”

    O.K. Son, listen up. Move real close to her and she should move real close to you, and then… Ah, call me.”

    A few moments later…


    “O.K. Son, Listen up, this is the most important part. Stick the long part of your body into the place where she goes to the bathroom.”

    A few moments later…

    “Dad, I’ve got my foot in the toilet, what do I do?”

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